The holidays can be an exciting time for many. Whether your schedule is filled with holiday-fueled events, or if it’s an opportunity to take a break from an already busy schedule, the month of December can be a very social month. In this month of holiday cheer, we can sometimes become absorbed in the festivities and forget about our social batteries.
For this piece, a social battery will be defined as the amount of energy that is either taken away from or given to an individual through social interactions.
During the season, our social battery is influenced by a wide range of socialization, such as engaging in pleasantries, gift-giving, or office/class parties. It can also be more intensive interactions such as a family member or friend crossing your boundaries, or political topics that may cause debates.
How does a low battery feel? The symptoms can range on an emotional spectrum. Some may become more reserved, and agitated, while others may feel overall shut down emotionally.
It is important to tend to your needs during the holidays and have check-ins during these social events. One way of doing this is finding a “you spot” wherever the festivities lead you. For example, let’s say you’re at your high-energy aunt’s house- all she wants to do is play holiday-related games that take up most of the party’s attention. She also happens to be the loudest person you know. Whether you directly or indirectly interact with this aunt, you start to feel less and less energized being in this environment due to the overstimulating components.
In these moments, you can go to a “recharge station.” This spot can be a place you’ve already dedicated as an escape away from the event. In this place, for example, a bathroom, the basement, or a vacant room, you can perform some grounding techniques such as deep breathing, describing 5 things you can see in the room, or sitting down in silence and feeling the ground below you. Through this, you might notice your body feeling less stimulated and ready to get back to the action. In other words, you can take this time to recharge your battery.
Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
Another note to keep in mind is that your boundaries matter. Although you may be surrounded by friends and family, you may feel that you cannot retreat to your own space, even if it’s for a brief time. Or you may find that friends and family may want you to engage in conversations or activities that you do not want to participate in. This can take away from your social battery.
Charging your social battery does not necessarily only happen when you’re at the event, but it could be beneficial to start even before attending. This could look like listing your boundaries for the night before going to the party. While at the social engagement, however, noticing how your body reacts to the stimulation of the environment can be important. Do you feel your heart is racing? Are you feeling pressured into conversing?
In these situations, it is important to express yourself- not wanting to engage and saying “no” is valid, and so are your feelings. Try to remember that these are your holidays too. When you can tend to yourself and make sure you feel grounded and your social battery is charged enough, you are able to give more to others if that is what you choose to do.
What happens when the opposite challenge happens, and you feel that others are not catching up with your energy or high-powered social battery?
The holidays are also a way for many to reunite with loved ones that have not been seen in a while. It can also be a time for people to let loose and engage in the holiday cheer. In these cases, we tend to have an ideal image of what the holidays should look like.
Unfortunately, our expectations may not meet the reality. Maybe your loved ones have gotten sick and cannot attend, or a snowstorm hits and it makes it difficult to travel.
In these cases, where we have a high-powered social battery but are met with disappointment, we still have options. One of these options is to have a
back-up social activity.
Back-up Social Activities
Although the times of isolation from the pandemic had many more cons than pros, what we did see was the power of connectivity without being physically present. We were able to see different forms of bonding through platforms such as Zoom to spend time with one another. Planning out games or activities through these platforms can be a great way to still connect with loved ones.
If you’re at a social gathering and feel the distance emotionally, other options can be to start small. In these situations, it may be important to see what is in your control and what is not. What isn’t in your control is the type of energy or personality others are bringing into a room. What is in your control is to still socialize and try to make connections with others.
One way of doing this can be to find one person in the room that you feel drawn to and start off with basic conversation. Try to ask open-ended questions and share what you feel comfortable sharing about yourself. This type of interaction may help support social stimulation and ultimately help your social battery feel charged.
Your social battery has a strong influence on how you bond with others, whether that is taking time away from them, or diving right into the mix of conversations and activities. In either scenario, the key theme is to interact with and listen to the cues from your body, your thoughts, and your feelings.
Your awareness of your social battery can help enhance your holidays, so give yourself the best gift which is tending to and prioritizing your needs!
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
