The Ultimatum: Queer Love is a Netflix series that’s half dating show, half social experiment. It features five couples, and in each pair one partner has given the other an ultimatum about moving forward with the relationship and getting married. Each couple then “breaks up,” and they date the other members of the cast for a week before choosing one person to have a trial marriage with. After three weeks of living together, each person then goes back to their original partner for three weeks, before then deciding if they want to stay with them, start a new relationship with their trial partner, or become single.
Each of the couples has a different reason for being on the show, from not feeling ready for marriage to not knowing if their partner truly has what they need for a lifetime partnership. For Vanessa and Xander, their conflict lies in the fact that Xander wants marriage and kids, while Vanessa isn’t sure she wants to settle down, and instead craves freedom.
Their personalities are also very different, as Xander is a bit on the calmer side, while Vanessa loves to be the center of attention. And while the old “opposites attract” adage has kept them in a relationship for four years, it seems like they both might be at their breaking point.
When the experiment started, Vanessa expressed a lot of excitement at the thought of dating different people, and she eagerly began to make connections with each of the singles. She made strong bonds with both Lexi and Rae—who are exes—and while it seemed like her and Lexi were on the brink of moving forward, after Vanessa commented that she still didn’t know if she wanted something serious, and then revealed that she didn’t believe that Xander would make a connection, Lexi questioned her reasons for being there, and their date ended on a sour note, with Lexi telling the cameras that she never wanted to see her again.
So what does this mean for Vanessa and Xander? Here’s what you need to know.
Are Vanessa and Xander From The Ultimatum: Queer Love Still Together?
Soon after Vanessa and Lexi’s date, it was time for all the singles to choose their new partners. Vanessa and Rae ended up picking each other, but Lexi did make a passionate plea to her ex where she relayed that she didn’t think Vanessa was on the show for the right reasons, and in a confessional she outright stated that Vanessa just wants to be famous. Other members of the cast agreed, with Mildred even calling Vanessa out for mouthing “f*** off” to Xander across the table. Vanessa and Rae decided to move forward anyway, and their relationship seemed to be going well.
However, the end of episode four saw Rae tell Lexi that she and Vanessa had slept together, which angered Lexi. At the next group event, the cast was split into two groups, and Lexi confronted Vanessa, who then admitted that she didn’t have any romantic intention with Rae. At the other group event, Ray confided in Mal, and she said she believed that Xander didn’t know about the incident. The episode left off on a bit of a cliffhanger, but in the previews for the rest of the season, Xander seems torn between her new partner Yoly and Vanessa. The next batch of episodes will premiere on May 31, so we’ll have to wait until then to see if the longtime couple is able to stick it out.
Temi Adebowale was previously an Editorial Assistant at Men’s Health, covering shows like Survivor, Peaky Blinders, and Tiger King. Prior to her entertainment work at MH, she was Newsroom Fellow, writing news stories across Hearst Digital Media’s brands. Temi likes Rihanna, the StairMaster, and tacos.
