Many of us have grown up with notions of finding ‘the one’, ‘the soul mate’ or ‘the twin flame’. But spiritual labels bring heavy expectations. This can be enough to break any relationship. So, where does divine union fit in?
Divine union is not about the person. It’s about the container. Your divine union is a portal to cosmic connection and sacred co-creation – two empowered souls choosing to share the journey.
Sia-Lanu Estrella, author of The Rainbow Tablets: Divine union, shares four tools for fostering this ultimate expression of a conscious relationship.
1. Create a shared vision
When partners don’t know what matters most for each other, it can lead to perceived shortfalls and unrealistic expectations. But a shared vision creates a sacred container for your divine union. First, set up sacred space. This might be coming into cacao ceremony together or going to a special spot in nature. Then explore your shared vision.
+ What do you want to feel in your divine union? For example, feeling loved, supported, safe and elevated.
+ What would help you feel that? To feel loved and supported, you might desire open communication, affection and someone who supports your dreams.
+ What is important to you? This could include topics like monogamy, children, work ambitions and cosmic expansion.
+ What attributes do you value in your partner? For example, honesty, kindness, playfulness and collaboration.
+ What are you committing to together? Create a single sentence that captures the essence of your divine union and anchors your sacred container.
2 . ‘Meet’ each other at the end of the day
Too often in long-term relationships “life” gets in the way. This is even more so when work schedules ramp up or children join the equation. You end the day with your most important person. Yet that can be when you feel most drained.
Introducing this small practice completely transforms your time together. Firstly, tune into what each partner needs in order to realign. Extroverts recharge through time with people. Introverts recharge through time alone.
Then create a transition into your time together. Dedicate at least 15 minutes for whatever will help you re-centre. It might be meditation, a short run, calling a friend, or time in nature. If you have children, take turns watching the kids so you each have your 15-minute recharge.
Next, meet your partner. Stand before each other without speaking. Place the right hand on each other’s hearts. With eye contact, breathe in sync for one minute. This is about witnessing each other and reconnecting, so you can move beyond the “day to day” and back to your cosmic connection.
This still applies if both work from home. And when you are not together, you can do the practice on a video call with your hands on your own hearts.
3. Hold space
While your divine union is a shared journey, each still needs to stand tall as a powerful cosmic being. Holding space in three keys ways will keep your divine union strong.
+ Hold space for yourself – Your commitment to self-growth and fulfilment is so important. At times, things will come up. It could be past trauma, insecurities or limiting beliefs. Your partner might be your best friend. But they are not your therapist, healer or saviour. Take responsibility for your triggers and shadow aspects. Draw on your toolkit for moving through sticky energy. This could be exercise, breathwork, journalling or meditation. Then, if conversations do need to happen, they will come from your heart rather than wounding. Most importantly, commit to a daily practice that keeps you in your highest frequency. The Rainbow Pyramid Sovereignty Practice is great for this.
+ Hold space for your partner – It can be hard to see someone you love going through challenges. Walking in divine union means honouring each other’s sovereignty. Be supportive, encouraging and compassionate. And when needed, be strong in your boundaries. Yet, remember you are not there to heal or “fix” your partner. They might need reassurances, a hug, or to know you believe in them. Be there for them. But also give them space for their own process.
+ Hold space for the divine union – Keep the container of your divine union clean. Many people use their relationships as a dumping ground. They vent about all sorts of things. And when they go through something themselves, they unload this onto their partner. This turns your cosmic divine union into a murky swamp. Yes, you want intimacy and honesty. But each must have their own support network. This could be a mentor or therapist. It could a self-empowerment program or retreat. That way, each partner can process the heaviness rather than dumping it. Then, what they bring into the container is the vulnerability, breakthroughs, insights and expansion.
4. Keep exploring the magic
We’ve all heard the old adage, “Relationships take hard work.” This is true for the old paradigm. When the focus is almost solely on what you want from the other person, this will devolve into power struggles. It becomes about being “right” rather than working together.
Divine union operates on a whole other dimensional plane. Yes, each partner still needs to show up for themselves and the other. But this is not “hard work”. You lift each other. So, how can you actively cultivate the magic?
Firstly, never stop being in love with life. See it as a huge cosmic adventure. As soon as life becomes purely functional, you are just surviving. That lowers your frequency and downgrades your divine union container. Some feel this naturally happens with kids. But it doesn’t have to. No matter how life changes, keep cultivating your soul’s highest expression. Maintain your embodiment through daily morning practice. Read books that awaken your cosmic nature , and visit new places.
Secondly, never stop dating. Too often, people start taking their partners for granted. Treat your divine union like a precious tree. Nourish it, water it, give it sunlight. The love flourished because each gave it energy at the start. To keep that frequency flowing:
+ Prioritize regular dates – Not from a sense of obligation, but a place of joy. It could be a day trip to a sacred site, such as Joshua Tree. Or visiting an art exhibition, getting a surf lesson, trying a new restaurant. If you have children, get a sitter and take your kids off the table as a conversation topic. This is your time.
+ Use your love language – Get to know how you express love. It might be through gifts, doing nice things for your partner, showing physical affection and so on. Consciously appreciate how wonderful your partner is and actively express your love.
+ Enjoy quality time – Falling into routine and “zoning out” is a fast track to a union’s demise. Turn off the television and explore different ways of being together. Go for an evening walk. Curl up together with good books. Sit outside under the stars. Foster fresh and conscious time together.
+ Keep the passion alive – Passion doesn’t fade over time, people do. In a conscious relationship, intimacy is cosmic connection. But even that can fizzle if you slip into “roommate” mode. Keep your bathroom time private. Get your hair done. Spoil yourself with sexy underwear and clothes that make you feel passionate about life. This is not about having to look good for your partner. It’s about yourself. When you feel sexy and vibrant, you exude that.
Take it to the stars
Your divine union is a powerful container that will elevate your relationship to cosmic levels. It is so far beyond the old paradigm of relationships. It empowers you to rise into your highest expression. Together, you will lift each other to phenomenal heights.
