At the start of every year, we’re bombarded with the same message: it’s time to fix ourselves. It’s an avalanche of ads for treadmills, exercise bikes, gym memberships, diet plans, and supplements. The corporate marketing strategy is simple: make you feel broken so they can sell you their perfect “solution.”
This year, instead of chasing unattainable goals, what if we approached resolutions differently? What if we leaned into the original meaning of the word—to loosen, to simplify? It’s not about adding more to your to-do list; it’s about letting go of what isn’t serving you and creating space for what truly lights you up. Here’s how to rethink resolutions and redefine self-improvement on your own terms.
The Current Approach to New Year Resolutions
F*ck new year’s resolutions. There, I said it. And I don’t use the word ‘hate’ often. But anything that plays on our insecurities and sends us the insidious message that we are not enough in order for people to make more money just pisses me off.
Of course, a new year feels like a natural time for a fresh start and the behavior change research shows that the “fresh slate” effect is very much real. For that reason, New Year’s resolutions promise transformation. But why is the narrative always about negative feelings about ourselves and fixing what’s “wrong” with us?
And why must they always require that we add a bunch of new things to our to-do list when – let’s face it – many of us are feeling pretty maxed out right now.
The Original Meaning of the Word Resolution
Before you dive headlong into resolutions this year, I invite you to consider the true meaning of the word “resolution”. You might find it surprisingly liberating.
According to etymonline.com, resolution comes from the Latin resolutionem, meaning “the process of reducing things into simpler forms.” It’s derived from resolvere, which means “to loosen.”
Let that sink in. What if we lean into that original meaning?
Instead of piling more onto your already-full plate in the year ahead, what can you loosen, simplify, or let go of? Let’s explore that self-reflection together as you set new year resolutions for the upcoming year.
A Thought Exercise on Letting Go
Grab a pen and paper and reflect on these questions. We’re going to make two lists.
Give yourself 3-5 minutes for each list prompt below and just pour your train of thought onto the page. Don’t overthink or edit yourself – just let your thoughts flow. (And if the idea of writing feels vulnerable, you can always burn the paper afterward!)
List 1: What lights you up?
- What brings you joy?
- What do you look forward to each day or week?
- What parts of your life reduce stress?
- What makes you feel truly nourished, connected, and alive?
List 2: What weighs you down?
- What obligations are you carrying simply because you said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”? (Think: running a work committee, volunteering, hosting the big family dinner, etc.)
- What unrealistic expectations are you holding yourself to?
- Where are you feeling pressure?
- What thoughts, ideas, or beliefs aren’t serving you or are holding back your personal growth?
Now, Let’s Connect The Dots:
- What’s holding you back from letting go of some of the things in List 2 that would make more space for the things in List 1? Is it fear? Guilt? The opinions of others? That worn-out “Superwoman” myth we’ve all been sold? Or maybe some outdated story you’re clinging to about who you’re supposed to be and what you should do?
- If you’re not sure what is holding you back, ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen if I stopped doing these things — the response will give you clues about your fears.
- Whose voice, words, and ideas are those anyway? If you listen closely, I bet you’ll realize – they’re not your own.
Time for the Reality Check
Ask yourself, do I really need more to add more to my personal development list OR is it time to take some things off the list of things that weigh me down? Oof.
Most people would benefit more from letting go of old habits that are working against us rather than taking on a bunch of new habits. Is that the case for you?
Of course, some things aren’t easy to let go of right away. Obligations and responsibilities can take time to shift to colleagues or family members. In those cases, focus on what steps you can take to make a graceful exit to create an action plan.
Ready to Let That Shit Go? Here’s How
When you’re ready to let some of List 2 go, here’s a simple Letting Go Ceremony to help you release what’s no longer serving you so you can manage stress better and improve your mental health:
- Grab a piece of paper and jot down what you’re ready to release.
- Light a fire. Safety first! Use a fireplace, fire pit, or even a safe container like an empty coffee can.
- Toss the paper into the fire and focus on your exhales as you watch it burn.
- Notice the release. Remind yourself that you’re already an expert at letting go – every out-breath is proof.
- Mark the moment. End your ceremony in a way that feels meaningful: say a word, do a dance, take a walk, draw something, or set a new intention. Choose whatever feels right for you.
From Making Resolutions to Finding Resolution and Peace
This year, instead of striving to fix yourself with new year resolutions, give yourself the gift of loosening your grip on what’s holding you back and creating anxiety in your life. Let go of what weighs you down can make room for the joy, connection, and nourishment you truly deserve. And that, my friends, would be a truly awesome resolution to 2024.
What are you letting go of in 2025? Let me know in the comments. –Karin
