Jane Fonda opened up about some things she wishes she’d done differently in a new interview with Vanity Fair. The 85-year-old actor said she thought deeply about some of her regrets after conducting what she called a “life review” when she turned 60, the purpose of which was to, in part, help her make amends with loved ones as she ages. (Yes, even Jane Fonda isn’t immune to mom guilt.)
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During this process, Fonda said, she realized that many of her regrets were related to parenting and offered wisdom to younger parents, in particular, who are raising sons. “If you have a boy, help him stay emotionally literate,” she said. “This ‘boys don’t cry, don’t feel emotions’—blah, blah, blah. Keep him emotional, and keep him familiar with emotions and feeling okay about them, and help him feel good about asking for help. That’s what I’ve taken away from so many boys.”
Research backs up Fonda’s thinking here: In the US, men have been observed to show less emotional expression—and more anger and aggression—than women. And instilling a sense of emotional well-being in young boys is pretty crucial to their stability and happiness: A 2021 paper found that emotional intelligence is linked to self-esteem as well as “life satisfaction.” The takeaway, as Fonda mentioned, is that boys, like everyone else, benefit from open and honest communication about how to cope with emotions.
This isn’t the first time Fonda has talked openly about how she raised her children. In an interview with CNN’s Chris Wallace earlier this year, she said, “I was not the kind of mother that I wished that I had been to my children. I have great, great children—talented, smart. And I just didn’t know how to do it.” To learn, Fonda said, she hit the books. “I’ve studied parenting, and I know what it’s supposed to be now. I didn’t know then. So I’m trying to show up now.” In acknowledging what she’s learned firsthand, Fonda hit the nail on the head in reassuring all parents: No matter the mistakes you’ve made, it’s never too late to grow and change.
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