I first got into holistic health for a couple of reasons. My guess is that most of us dive into something because we have a passion for it, and I did, but I also had some health issues at the time that I was desperate to solve.
I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body, and I was searching for any solution that could work. So I started reading books and taking courses in health, hormones, nutrition…you name it.
At first, it felt so exciting because I thought I was finally learning the secrets to how I could make a change. I felt like I was making progress, like I was doing something about the problems I had, and I started implementing everything as fast and as much as I possibly could.
But the more I learned, the longer the list of what to do somehow became. It’s like the old saying: “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
Suddenly everything started to look like a problem. The food I was eating wasn’t good enough. The water needed filtering. My skincare products weren’t safe. I should eat at certain times, avoid certain things, optimize something else.
What started as something fun and exciting turned into an endless checklist of things that needed improving, no matter how much I did.
When Caring for Your Health Turns Into Constantly Correcting Yourself
That’s when I had to stop and ask myself: When did caring for myself turn into constantly correcting myself?
I began because I cared about my health and the way I looked, but somewhere along the way the message became: Look at all the things you’re doing wrong.
No matter how much I changed, there was always another thing to fix, improve, or optimize before it felt “good enough.” Over time, that “good enough” became impossible to reach, and all I could see were flaws.
It felt like a huge renovation project—and not the fun kind you see on TV, where they start from scratch and at the end everyone oohs and aahs over the result. Not at all.
The renovation of ME was always under construction, and I would never stop and admire how far I’d come. And let me tell you, living in a home—or in a body—that’s always under construction is exhausting.
You never get to enjoy the space.
When Trying to Be Healthy Becomes Another Form of Perfectionism
That’s when I noticed I had transformed “health” into another form of perfectionism.
We usually think of body perfectionism in terms of appearance: lose five pounds, flatten your stomach, or build more muscle. But wellness culture can do the same thing while calling it health.
Optimize your sleep. Improve your hormones. Fix your gut. Perfect your diet. Reduce the toxins in your food and home.
Pretty soon, all you start seeing are problems.
Caring for Your Body vs. Trying to Fix Your Body
What saved my sanity—and my health—was starting to make the distinction between caring and correcting.
We can all make better and healthier choices, but with very different intentions. It’s the difference between:
“I’m exercising because I hate what my body looks like and I need to change it.”
and:
“I’m exercising because I love feeling strong and want this body to carry me through my life.”
From the outside, the action looks identical. But the relationship to our body and the energy behind the intention aren’t.
And that relationship—the reason behind the choice—is what determines whether healthier choices feel enjoyable or just like pure punishment.
Health Shouldn’t Make You Miserable
I’ve experienced this in fitness too. As a competitive CrossFit athlete, I was strong, ate well, and trained hard, but maintaining that level of performance also required a lot of sacrifices and could be mentally taxing.
Something can be technically better for losing weight or getting stronger while at the same time making you anxious, obsessive, or miserable.
Health can’t just mean optimizing biological metrics while ignoring the person actually living inside the body.
Because what’s the point of having a “perfect” body or great results if you’re too stressed to enjoy the rest of your daily life?
Watch Out for the Moving Goalpost
And here’s something important to be aware of: the moving goalpost.
You lose weight, but now you want more definition. You get stronger, but now you want more endurance. You clean up your diet, but now you discover ten more things you apparently shouldn’t be eating.
There is always another tweak to be made, another room to renovate or decorate.
This is a very normal feeling. The key is learning to feel content with what is while still being excited about future goals.
Health Is Bigger Than the Body in the Mirror
Health is bigger than the body in the mirror.
Friendships matter. Hobbies matter. Laughing matters. Mental wellbeing matters. Having purpose matters. Rest matters. Enjoying dinner with people you love matters.
You don’t want to become so busy trying to create the healthiest possible body that you forget to create a life you actually enjoy living.
You Can Have Health Goals Without Treating Yourself Like a Problem
And I think this distinction is important because I don’t want this to sound like we should just accept everything and stop having goals.
That’s not what I mean at all.
I still train. I still care about what I put in my body. I am still learning about health, and I still want to improve.
But I’ve changed the place I’m improving from.
Instead of, “I’m not good enough like this,” it’s, “I care about myself, so what would support me?”
That shift naturally leads to slower, more deeply rooted change instead of quick fixes.
Ask What Will Support You Long Term
When we’re approaching something from a place of correction, we’re easily pulled toward extremes—the supplement, the restrictive diet, the brutal program promising to fix everything fast.
Care, on the other hand, asks something different of us:
What can I actually do consistently that will support me long term?
That’s the kind of question that builds resilience instead of burnout. It’s the kind of question that makes every choice feel like building something rather than punishing yourself for where you’re at.
Stop Postponing Satisfaction
And maybe most importantly: stop postponing satisfaction.
Don’t wait until you’ve reached some imaginary finished version of yourself before you allow yourself to feel proud. Pause now and then and acknowledge what you’ve already changed.
Enjoy getting stronger. Enjoy learning to cook differently. Enjoy your walk. Wear the swimsuit. Take the photo. Celebrate what your body can do NOW.
There is no finished renovation coming where suddenly you’re allowed to enjoy living in yourself.
Build a Healthy Life, Not Just a Healthy Body
One of the healthiest things we can do is stop believing we have to become someone different before we’re worthy of our own care.
Because we can spend so much time trying to build a healthy body that we forget to build a healthy life.
And that, I think, is a renovation project worth doing. Wouldn’t you agree? —Marlene
