Whether you’re a top, bottom, vers, or hoping to find out, you’ve come to the right place if you’re looking for a new toy. Using a strap-on is a hot way to explore anal play and power dynamics—and straps are, of course, a regular part of life for many queer people. Because there are so many options to choose from, we spoke to sex experts and scoured customer reviews to figure out everything you need to know about buying the best strap-on for you, whether you’re getting your first one or your twentieth.
What is a strap-on?
A strap-on is basically a harness that can hold a dildo, which allows you to give (or receive) hands-free anal or vaginal penetration. They typically come in two main styles: jockstrap harnesses and underwear harnesses. “Jockstrap harnesses have straps that go around the waist and thighs, which makes them secure, comfortable, and flexible for different kinds of play,” Shadeen Francis, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF. They tend to be the most adjustable, making it easier for people across various body shapes and sizes to find the right fit. Underwear harnesses, which look (and are sized like) regular undies, have a built-in harness for a dildo.
Apart from these two popular styles, there are also harnesses that fit chins, thighs, and hands. Some harnesses are fashioned like suspenders or corsets, and there are even strapless strap-ons (which require no harness at all).
What to consider when shopping for a strap-on
When you’re buying a strap-on, you usually shop for the harness and dildo separately. But if you’re new to strap-ons or just want something super easy, plenty of beginner kits include both pieces. These sets from Lovehoney and Tracey Cox are excellent, affordable options.
If you go the route of choosing your dildo and strap-on individually, Francis recommends you factor in sizing, comfort, and material. Underwear-style harnesses are often softer to wear, Carol Queen, PhD, who works at the sex toy store Good Vibrations, tells SELF. If you’re using a larger dildo (over two inches in girth or eight inches in length), opt for a sturdier harness, like a jockstrap, with straps you can tighten for more support.
You’ll also want to take a look at the O-ring, which is the rubber, metal, or nitrile ring that secures the dildo. Some harnesses include multiple O-rings of different sizes that you can swap in and out, while others have elastic ones that can stretch to accommodate a variety of dildos. To figure out the best O-ring size for your dildo, you can use this handy Lovehoney calculator.
The best strap-ons
Below are the 10 best strap-ons and harnesses options. We made sure that all these picks are body-safe, highly rated, and follow our experts’ guidelines.
