If that happens on occasion, your pelvic floor can handle the burden. But it’s all too easy for this tendency to get ingrained in your daily life. “If every time you’re picking up a laundry basket or standing up out of a chair, you hold your breath, that’s again putting pressure on your pelvic floor,” Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas points out. Before you know it, you could end up overworking—and in turn, weakening—these muscles in a way that leaves you more susceptible to leakage, she says.
What to do instead: As Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas tells her clients: “When in doubt, breathe out”—or more specifically, exhale on exertion, or at the hardest point of any movement. So when you’re coming up from a squat or deadlift, or picking up a heavy object, make sure you’re letting the air whoosh out from your nose or mouth to “create a bit of an automatic support for your pelvic floor,” Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas says. (Looking for more specific intel? Pop over to our full guide on how to breathe during any type of workout for the best result.)
5. You grin and bear it through painful sex.
Enduring painful sex really sucks…if for no other reason than the fact that sex shouldn’t hurt (unless you want it to). The idea that even good sex should be somewhat painful is an unfortunate, persistent misconception that keeps plenty of people from the pleasure they deserve. But to make matters worse, powering through uncomfortable—or downright agonizing—sex can also cause pelvic floor issues down the line, Dr. Preil says.
What happens is, with each additional unpleasant experience, your body begins to associate sex with pain, to the point where your pelvic floor can subconsciously tense up in anticipation of sex, Dr. Preil says. It’s a protective mechanism, she explains: Those muscles are bracing for impact. But the preemptive gripping just winds up making sex (particularly penetration) even more painful, she says. And the more ingrained this tendency becomes over the course of months or years of uncomfortable sex, the harder it is to drop. (For this same reason, past sexual abuse or trauma can also make sex a painful experience; if this is relevant to you, visit RAINN for help finding resources, counseling, and support.)
What to do instead: Be honest with yourself and your partner about exactly which types of sex acts hurt and when, and consider if there might be certain workarounds that could help. For instance, can you slather on some lube to alleviate that rub-and-tug feeling, opt for a position that involves less thrusting, or bypass penetration altogether?
Ultimately, you also owe it to yourself to see a doc if pain during or after sex is your norm. Your ob-gyn can help rule out certain health conditions that may be at the root of it, like endometriosis or uterine fibroids. They may also refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist, who can help you undo the pelvic tension you may have developed by enduring painful sex and retrain those muscles so they’re less likely to tighten on reflex.
6. You constantly do Kegels.
I thought Kegels were good for your pelvic floor?! I can practically hear you thinking. And yes, that is true for plenty of people in a variety of circumstances. But they’ve gotten so much positive press in the past few years that they’ve mistakenly come to be known as the end-all, be-all of a healthy pelvic floor—when really, a Kegel is just like any other exercise, Dr. Jeffrey-Thomas says: The number and the context is important. (And so is your form, FWIW; if you need a refresher, here’s our guide to doing Kegels correctly.)
