Have You Been Feeling Stuck?
One of the worst places to be is in a rut. This happens when you feel at a standstill with your career. You don’t necessarily hate your job enough to leave, but you don’t feel excited about staying. This happens in your relationships when you feel unsettled with how things are going. You wish that you were closer to people, felt more connected, and didn’t worry that you’ll end up old without any friends. This shows up with your own goals. You really want to start new routines, get into shape, and spend your time in more meaningful ways. Instead, you find yourself lying in bed, scrolling on your phone, and complaining about how you don’t feel energetic. We call this:
Stagnation
Stagnation is a lack of personal movement, growth, or development. This happens when certain areas of your life stop progressing and start feeling stuck. This results in you sticking to the same patterns, routines, or habits despite the fact that they are currently making you unhappy.
Stagnation Examples
- I’ve been at the same job for years now and feel unengaged. I wish that I could be doing something different, but I don’t feel like I could find a better job. I try reminding myself that I should be grateful to be working at my job, but the longer I stay the worse I feel.
- I really need to start getting in shape and taking better care of myself. Every time I try a new routine, I don’t stick with it. I don’t feel like I have the time or energy to make any of these commitments work long term.
- I don’t have a lot of good friends or close family relationships. I desperately want to feel more connected to others, but everything I try to do hasn’t worked. Even when I muster up the energy to spend time with people, the relationships don’t end up going anywhere.
- My relationships with friends and family seem strained. I don’t like the way that we all talk to each other, and I feel frustrated and discouraged after being around them. I know that we need to change the way we’re talking to each other, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
- My relationship with God feels out of place. I’ve been praying, reading the Bible, and attending church but I don’t feel connected or at peace. I don’t feel engaged in my faith even though I’m going through all of the motions.
What Causes Stagnation
Being in the same place for too long
Stagnation can naturally happen when don’t make any changes for a long time. This causes you to become more and more set in your ways and less and less inclined to make changes.
Discouraging past experiences
It’s difficult to leave somewhere comfortable when you’ve had bad previous experiences. This is the reason why many people don’t get new jobs, don’t leave partners that are not working out, or avoid taking necessary risks. This makes it hard to imagine how change can make a positive impact on your current circumstances.
Feeling stressed and burned out
Making important changes can take a lot of time and energy. If you are constantly feeling drained from your everyday life, it’s more difficult to spend time on changing your circumstances.
Stress that is not quite overwhelming
It’s hard to motivate yourself to get out of a rut if things are not in a crisis. Stagnation causes pain over a long period of time that is easy to cope with in the moment but has a strong toxic effect over time. This is why you might wait years before finally deciding that you’ve had enough waiting around.
Being too busy
It’s easy to not make progress on important goals when you’re too busy. All of your time and energy gets sucked into other things leaving you with no energy to spend on creating movement on your goals.
Hope that things will resolve without you having to do anything
Sometimes you can get lucky and your problems will work themselves out. Most of the time, waiting around makes problems harder to deal with and build up dread.
Distractions
Spending too much time on your phone, browsing social media, or watching TV kills motivation.
The good news is that there are several things that you can incorporate to get through stagnation.
Tips For Getting Through Stagnation
Stop making excuses
There are so many good reasons for why your life is stagnating right now. That’s the problem. Instead of focusing on all of the reasons for why you are stagnating, take responsibility for the things that you can change in your life.
Focus on the next action step
Any type of movement helps breaking the cycle of stagnating. Do you want to get into better physical shape? Commit to taking a walk every day. Are you feeling lonely and isolated from others? Start reaching out to people you know and try to broaden your social circle. Do you feel disengaged from work? Make a plan for how you can change your role at work or start networking with other people and exploring new positions.
Bring others in for support
It’s much easier to stay accountable when other people are keeping you on track. Find trusted individuals who care about you, are willing to help you out, and will actually be helpful in your pursuit to making changes. These can also include bringing in a professional, such as a therapist, personal trainer, or career coach. If you know that you don’t have enough motivation to see your goals through, then make the decision to include someone who will make a difference.
Refuse to do nothing
Not doing anything about a problem is a decision. Stop making that decision. Instead, commit to making a decision about how to solve your problem. Are you unsure how to proceed? Do things that bring clarity. Are you unhappy with something happening in your relationship? Commit to a time to start a conversation. Refuse to be someone who sits on problems indefinitely.
Stop waiting for the right time or perfect decision
Most decisions are better than delaying a decision with stagnation. Having some form of movement in your life makes it easier to build momentum for bigger changes. Don’t know what job to apply for? Just make yourself apply for something. Unsure about whether to get a gym membership or start a private workout plan? Start going on walks and working out at home before deciding. Don’t know when would be a good time to have an important conversation? Schedule a time with the person for when to have the conversation.
Set some deadlines
Set up a time for when you can have any important conversation, look for a new job, or start a new routine. There are few good excuses for why you can’t simply set a deadline for what needs to be done and how you are planning to resolve it.
Stop wasting your time
Excessively being on your phone, watching tv, or browsing social media makes you feel less motivated to change. Additionally, these things take up valuable time that you could be reinvesting to meeting your goals.
Push yourself to make a decision
A lot of decisions are hard to make because you don’t have clarity on what you should do. Even though lacking clarity is difficult, this does not make refusing to make a decision a better choice. Being in the drivers seat of your decision making gives you more confidence and control over your outcome. If you refuse to make a decision, then you are responsible for what happens since you could have acted sooner.
Questions And Challenges for You To Consider:
What areas of your life are stagnating?
What are the reasons why you are stagnating?
How can you take a single step to create movement in your life?
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
