Orgasms rule, no matter whether you’re having them alone or with a partner. Still, there’s something special to be said for the ones that leave you unable to think straight for a full five minutes after, or that you walk around feeling for the next few hours. Or whatever a super-hot orgasm is like for you! Everybody’s different (as is every body).
If you have a vagina and you’re looking to come so hard that it reverberates through the very depths of your spirit, read on for extremely fun methods for increasing your sexual pleasure and ramping up the intensity of many different types of orgasms. (And even if you don’t get all the way there, that’s totally normal too, and all of these ideas will still feel great.)
Partnered sex is wonderful in its own right, but taking time to learn what you like all on your own can help you get off the way that feels best to you whether or not you’re in bed with someone else, or just yourself (and maybe your favorite sex toy).
“Getting to know your own body and the type of pressure and friction that feel good really sets a template for knowing how to arouse yourself and have an orgasm during sex,” Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of She Comes First, tells SELF. If you’re looking for fresh ideas to try, SELF has a guide to masturbation techniques for people with vaginas that feel amazing.
2. Call on the power of sexual fantasies—and test out some new ones.
Fantasies can help you forget the stressors of day-to-day life, feel less inhibited, and zero in on what gets you hot, whether you’re alone or with another person. “Don’t underestimate the power of mental arousal,” Dr. Kerner says.
If you’re not sure what gets you going or your existing spank bank feels a little stale, give something new a shot! For instance, if you’re used to watching porn videos, seek out audio erotica for a new twist on an old classic. Once you feel connected to the scenarios that especially turn you on, you can bring them into your masturbation routine, draw on them during hookups, and, as you’re getting down in any capacity, call them to mind to make whatever you’re doing even hotter.
3. Don’t skimp on foreplay.
Foreplay primes your body to have the most toe-curling possible orgasm later on. Dr. Kerner suggests thinking of your entire body as an erogenous zone instead of jumping into the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am type of deal. Whether you’re having vaginal intercourse or easing into a different kind of sex: Take time to make out, pay attention to your breasts or wherever else you like to be touched, and otherwise heat things up before you jump into the main event, whatever it may be. Making it a point to get as turned on as possible gives your body a chance to maximize feel-good bodily processes that happen in response to sex, like extra blood flow that increases sensitivity and muscular tension that makes it all the more likely you’ll feel a huge sense of release during your orgasm.
4. Communicate with your partners and ask for what you want.
Sometimes, it’s easy to get in your head during sex, or to prioritize someone else’s pleasure over your own sexual arousal. If that sounds like you: Try focusing on what makes you feel good in bed, rather than how you look or whether your partner is enjoying themself. If you’re in bed with someone, chances are they want to make you feel good (including by having a great orgasm). Give them the info they might need to help them get you there.
