It can sometimes feel like the biology of your vulva is playing hard to get with pleasure. A prime example: the coveted G-spot, that belly-side portion of your vaginal wall known to feel super good for some folks when it’s stimulated. It tends to be a sneaky little sucker, seemingly existing just out of reach of a dildo or penis. The good news is, if you take some time to learn your body (in a fun way!) and explore certain sex positions that naturally involve that area, figuring out how to hit your G-spot doesn’t have to be a treasure hunt.
Before you start digging for gold, it’s helpful to know what exactly you’re searching for. The G-spot is often more aptly described by sex educators as the G-zone, because it can cover a broad area, Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, sexual and relational communication professor at California State University, Fullerton, and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast, tells SELF. (Spot can be “misleading,” she says, as it implies that there’s essentially one button you push.) Where yours is depends on your anatomy, Dr. Tara says; to find it, insert your finger and make a “come hither” motion, moving up the front wall of your vagina. You’re looking for an area that feels sensitive and may have ridges like the roof of your mouth, Marla Renee Stewart, sex educator and resident sex expert for Lovers, tells SELF.
For some—but not all!—people with a vagina, getting consistent pressure on their G-spot with a toy or penis can feel really fantastic. But this elusive region also gets a lot of hype because of some hetero-patriarchal nonsense, Gigi Engle, COSRT-registered sex and relationships psychotherapist based in the United Kingdom and lead intimacy expert at dating app 3Fun, tells SELF. “One of the reasons that people are so hell-bent on stimulating [the G-spot] is because of this idea…that having penetrative orgasms is somehow more desirable than [coming from] external stimulation of your clitoris,” she says, ostensibly because the former can happen in the midst of typical p-in-v sex.
But that’s a silly misconception because your G-spot is actually an internal portion of your clitoris. That’s right, your clit extends beyond the nub you can touch, branching into two legs that wrap around your vagina, and your G-spot is thought to be the back end of that structure. Because the entire organ is loaded with nerve endings, stimulating any part of it (internal, external, or both) can feel great and lead to equally amazing orgasms. In fact, more than 70 percent of women in a 2015 survey said that they needed some kind of external touch to orgasm during sex or that it made finishing feel better.
